Cock-up Repair

Oh, wait, no, apparently this is NOT a repair.

Having discovered that the hole in the worktop for our hob was “sub-optimal”, i.e 30mm too large, Ultrawood Interiors, who have themselves been superb, were as miffed as we were that one of their suppliers had fallen below par. A cunning plan was hatched by Stewkley Stone to glue back their missing 30mm in the form of two 14mm strips1 of worktop material.

We impressed upon all parties that we needed not only an assurance but a written guarantee that this measure would work for the foreseeable future and not suddenly let go. This we received and this is where we discovered that this was not a repair but was “a structural addition”. [Get out your fine distinctions books.] We have a non-transferable 9-year guarantee.

The bonding resin used is said to be stronger than the worktop material itself. There was for a short while talk of inserting reinforcing bars through the “structural additions” [not repair pieces] but that could possible weaken the worktop material itself.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI was reminded of my Materials professor at university, who had been called in to investigate the original Comet 4A airliner disasters in 1953. Until that time, nobody knew that the stresses within airframe materials around rivet holes was magnified threefold by the hole itself; the planes basically unzipped themselves and fell apart in mid-air. I agreed, let’s just bond it. If it doesn’t work we retain the option of having that run ripped out and replaced.

Our Structural Addition Man [not Repair Man] sounded as if he knew what he was doing and instilled much more confidence than had Template Man, who I now wouldn’t trust further than I could spit.

1. The astute will notice that 2 x 14mm strips adds up to 28mm, not 30mm. My guess is that this allows 2mm for the thickness of the glue/resin/bonding material

Posted in 2020 Covid-19 Knockdown

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